It's been a long time I didn't blogging. I'm busy with my life, and it pissed me off. Since the pain and tears are my only friend now-a-days. It's not that my life is boring, it's me that boring. Right? I have nothing to do. I'm just being me. I will stay silent, shut up my mouth, live alone in the room, eat late, sleep late, bath late, all late. Everything is not right with me. Only God knows what I feel yesterday and today.
Sometime, silent may be the best way, so that nothing bad will happen. But, sometime you should say something or share to someone you trusted. It may help. But, in my situation I couldn't say it out. Why? I just let it happen. Let them make the choice. I can't do anything, I am weak! I'm just speak through my heart and mind. Hoping for the better tomorrow. But, still the same, nothing change. I prayed to my God to strengthen my heart and help me to face everything. I know He's the only one that can help me to go through this.
By the time being, I had to lie for a reason. It's not for my own good. But it's for someone else that I do care and love. Pretend that everything alright like, " Well, I'm okay dear. " I just don't know how and I prefer to remain silent so that s/he not worrying about me. Yes, something is not right with me. I don't think I would like to share it here. Yet, I had a very timeless day! I just have to be patience.
As you all know, it's April now. For those SPM candidates in year 2011, now is the time. Future awaits us out there. Make the best decision, never give up in anything and everything. For me, first come, first serve. But! I have to do it properly. I don't want that one day I will regret it and just let it be and getting worst. For sure, I will surely miss my family. I never live far apart from them. I can't live without them. Seriously! I need a very long time to suite myself for a new life. They are the sunshine when it's morning and raindrops when it's raining. I wonder how, when, and where is my future. A lot of question mark in my mind. Let's think positive. Keep holding on; faith.
Being alone again and again. I don't think that no one love me. I know there would always be. :) What I do now, smile and smile and smile *in my heart* Jessie J told me to do so. I might losing my mind. But I 'm clever enough to think. What? Don't care. I can do what I want. I'm big already and I can take good care of myself. You who care about me, I want to say that I'm really appreciate for your concerned on me all this time. God bless you dear.
I try to cheer up myself for now on. I'll try, okay? I'll try. I'm not promise to make it all better. But, I really want it back to normal again as usual. I'm not an active girl like someone else but, sometimes I can. So, being happy is what I'm wishing for. When there is happy, there would be sad. Right? Unless, you're heartless. I heard some songs from my favorite playlist. Maybe it can inspire me to live a better tomorrow. Some of the story in the song had related in me and it made me reminds of it again. Well, I'm a big girl now. I learnt from the past. No doubt.
Okay then. I have to end it here. Thank you for spending your time reading my blog. Remember, believe in your God and yourself. Adios, mi amor.
